So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
