I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
