Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
