My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
This house was built for laser tag.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
