Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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