He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just invented taco cereal.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
