What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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