apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
