I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
