I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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