dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
