just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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