and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
