we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
