Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You know, be my cock's hype man.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
