Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
