just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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