You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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