people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
