nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
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