im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
