we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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