will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
