That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
