the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
