Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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