vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
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As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
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Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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