I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
It was confusing and full of hummus
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
