this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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