So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize