that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Operation Purity has been aborted
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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