1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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