yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
