Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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