sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
