I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
