Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
