did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?