Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We just shotgunned beers for America
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Randomize
