when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.