Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
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