exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
