enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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