Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
