Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
