Rock
Scissors
Fuck
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
