im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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