Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
