hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
