We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
