Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
