May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
operation have a gay friend backfired
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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