In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
