my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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