Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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