You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
