My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
