I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
