The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
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You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We just shotgunned beers for America
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
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You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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