My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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