I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
