Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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