I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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