North Korea, Best Korea!
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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